To Simplify... the pursuit of happiness through simple living on the open road

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Canoe Guy

Several people have forwarded me this story about a guy who lives full-time in his canoe – in Boston Harbor:


Utterly ridiculous. Sure, he's living rent-free, isn't breaking any laws or hurting anyone, and seems happy enough, but come on – this would never work for everyone! Just imagine what Boston Harbor would look like if the entire city lived in canoes.

You know, I'll bet that what he's really saying by living in his canoe is that anyone who doesn't live exactly like he does must be a complete moron. Go ahead and look at the picture above. You can just see the arrogance. He probably hates you. Yes, you.

Doesn't he realize that not everyone can just drop everything and move into a canoe? Some of you have families and careers for crying out loud! Lawns to mow, mortgages, car payments, chickens defrosting in the refrigerator, and half a season of X-Factor stacked up on the DVR. Who does this guy think he is pushing his lifestyle on the rest of us like so? Just look at that picture again – the imperious grasp on the oar, that holier-than-thou orange life preserver...

This guy is doing nothing to support the economy. Thank goodness more people don't live in canoes. What we need more than ever is for people to get out and do the patriotic thing – spend money they don't have, consume things they don't need, and basically party like it's 1999.

I bet he's a Communist. Maybe even a terrorist.

Where does he go to the bathroom anyway? And what about showering? And how can he ever hope to meet a woman and start a family someday? "Hey baby, wanna go back to my canoe?" Yeah, that'll work.

What a pathetic loser. What a pompous prick. It's too bad he doesn't have a blog – then we could all really give him a piece of our mind.

(if you're confused...this is satire)

57 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. OMG, Glenn, I think you have really bad influence on Lee... I see ourselves huddled on the canoe with three dogs and a cat. That's why he has been singing about that stupid pontoon.

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  2. He's obviously just doing it for the attention. Why else would he wear that obnoxious orange life-preserver? There should be a law agin it.

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    1. Read the article. He was given the life-preserver by the police. Just another example of the welfare state of Massachussetts. :)

      David in San Miguel

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    2. Well, OK. But he could still wear something over it. Or perhaps the welfare state police forbids that in case he is shot by mistake by a duck hunter?

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  3. Not to worry, Glen!I've alerted Homeland Security. On the bright side, as long as we know the guy is still living in the harbor we can surmise Boston is safe and won't be blown to smithereens.

    Cyndi
    http://rvlyeverafter.blogspot.com/

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  4. At least he can stand up in his canoe... carefully.

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  5. He seems to have a canoe full of stuff. As long as he is buying things, Homeland Security need not be alerted.

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  6. He doesn't even buy fuel! He uses muscle power to get around.

    Living on a small boat would be an equally interesting lifestyle. The biggest problem I see with that is sinking. If your hull gets damaged accidentally or by vandals you'll lose everything. When a car gets a dent or even a bullet hole it doesn't mean you'll lose everything.

    It seems that while away for shopping it would be difficult to keep your floating home secure. I'm too paranoid to leave everything I own unattended with such easy accessibility.

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    Replies
    1. On the other hand, an RV can be broken into, or stolen and driven away. Then everything would be instantly gone. I would think that happens more often than boats sinking or being bothered.

      To me the main "issues" with boat living are that the weather and elements are much more important/problematic than they are when you are in a vehicle (more likely to give problems than sinking), and also that you are typically less mobile in the "it's spring, let's make tracks for Idaho!" or "I need X and it is two towns away" type of way.

      I like boat living, but just wanted to say that in my experience the problems are different than those you imagine. And ironically, I now (since I'm land traveling currently) worry more about my stuff (or the whole vehicle) being stolen than I do when I'm aboard.

      (Granted a canoe would be different, but then so would a shopping cart.)

      Gal

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    2. Sure I realized most of those things are possible with an RV. At least a car or RV can be locked and they weigh a lot more than a canoe. Dragging or paddling away an unattended canoe doesn't require any specialized thieving knowledge.

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    3. As a former firefighter, I must interject that everything you own can go away in the next couple of minutes. My neighbors experienced this just a couple of months ago, a fire that nearly burnt our house as well a mere 30 foot behind us. They lost everything but the clothes on their backs, and that didn't include shoes at 2am when they narrowly escaped.

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  7. This guy is still my favorite:
    http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2004-12-14-chicago-bridge_x.htm

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    Replies
    1. That really is quite creative Don. Just goes to show, there's lots of ways to find one's way in life.

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  8. Time for him to downsize to a kayak.

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    Replies
    1. Nah, first he upsizes to a small cabin cruiser, the canoe is too small. But after a couple years he then goes to a kayak or a raft citing a lifestyle change. Rinse and repeat.

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  9. You're pretty funny for a saxophonist.

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  10. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQOaLP-qPmk

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  11. Maybe you can take a trip to Boston & try his life style ?

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  12. He used to own a vanagon until he realized how aristocratic it was.......LOL

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  13. I started wheezing with laughter at "the imperious grasp on the oar."

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  14. At some point as a lifestyle goes far from mainstream, friends and family will have a level of concern for the individual. If it was my mother or my kids or a good friend living in the canoe, I'd have concerns they would be comfortable in the cold weather and able to be safe and healthy. I generally have a lot of "live and let live" in me, but if it was my Mom in the canoe, I wouldn't be silent. We may eventually come to a conclusion that that is her dream, but there would be a heck of a discussion at the beginning and there would be offers of alternative (safer IMO) living arrangements.

    Not to say people shouldn't follow their dreams, but one would have to expect levels of concern from loved ones in situations such as this.

    Some people who have been negative about the VW may fall into this camp. There's some concern here. Not as much as living in a canoe in cold Boston, but some.

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    Replies
    1. I was thinking how I'd react to scenarios with loved one:

      1 Live on canoe in Boston Harbor: Intervention.
      2 Live in Chinook: Go forth and prosper
      3 Live in VW: Grumble a bit, play devil advocate, indicate I don't like VWs that much, question changes of direction, go forth and prosper.
      4 Gay Marriage (by comparison) Go forth and prosper.

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  15. Who wants to follow the Fag "marrage" guy? Absurd, people will be asking the government to marry them to their cat next.

    Glenn, Why so crabby? Lewis & Clark did OK and it sure beats a shopping cart!

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    Replies
    1. Yep I'm strongly for marriage equality. It's fundamental decency and fairness and lets people be all they can be.

      What if your brother, sister or kids married same sex? What would you do? Would you embrace them or would you reject them? Someday you may be closer to it than a couple posts on a blog.

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    2. I contend marrage is a holy thing and is not to be trifled with by democracy gone wild! Just because we can do things with the law of the land doesn't mean we should, its not a funhouse.

      Indeed the devil prowls the earth for whom he can devour (or defile)ultimately every person answers for their own sin. Dare you speak from the gut of the beast?

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    3. Just because you believe that lunacy does not make it so. Your religion has burnt people at the stake (after driving stakes through their tongues so they could not speak their heresy) for suggesting the world was not flat. And committed a million other unspeakable crimes. How dare you speak from the belly of your beast.

      Oh, and: Go canoe guy! That made my weekend.

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    4. Just because you believe that lunacy does not make it so. Your religion has burnt people at the stake (after driving stakes through their tongues so they could not speak their heresy) for suggesting the world was not flat. And committed a million other unspeakable crimes. How dare you speak from the belly of your beast.

      Oh, and: Go canoe guy! That made my weekend.

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    5. A typical responce from those that are ignorant of a good God.

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    6. You are a coward, you are ignorant and you have no backbone to even put your name. Fag? Really? Wow, get some class.

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  16. Is it satire... or irony?
    He is holding a paddle, not an oar.
    As one who is a stickler for correctness, I thought you would want to be accurate.

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  17. I heard he is getting ready to downsize even further,... he is said to be torn between an air mattress or an innertube

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    Replies
    1. Ha ha ha! Glenn, you can do stand-up if you tire of the sax gig. Or in addition to - what the heck! :)

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  18. Today's comments cracked me up, especially the shopping cart ones until I really thought about it. Sadly, there are maybe millions of people that do actually live out of shopping carts.
    Audrey

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  19. Best laugh I've had in while!

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  20. 1999 was a very good year. Lots of chicken.

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  21. A park bench is no different, I think EVERYONE should be able to choose the life they want to live, be it a native in a hogan, a guy in a canoe, a girl in a van, a woman in a mountain cabin, a family in the burbs...different strokes for different folks! NO one owns the patten on lifestyle! NO one is wrong or right! ITS all about Choice!

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  22. Man, the natives sure are getting restless.

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  23. Glen - It is going to be a real hoot when you reveal that you actually live in a penthouse in downtown LA. These last three years have been all on paper and you got the last laugh.

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  24. Applause! I laughed all the way to the end (and particularly at the disclaimer that it's satire).

    Now, back to my chicken defrosting in the refrigerator ...

    Summer in Texas

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  25. Aw man, now I'm really curious about where he uses the restroom.

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    Replies
    1. probably the same place the fish do, and other mammalian life ( if we had already slaughtered and driven them away. One man pooping in an ocean isnt going to ruin the world anymore than your shampoo down the drain.

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  26. I saw this article on him as well, more power to him. 10 Things to Know About the Guy Living in Boston Harbor
    Wednesday, December 5, 2012, by Tom Acitelli
    13

    michaelrichardsmith.jpg
    [AP Photo by Steven Senne]

    Michael Richard Smith has apparently been floating contentedly in a canoe in the harbor since late summer. Here's 10 things you should know about him:
    · He's from Maine.
    · His canoe is 14 feet long, made of aluminum and is 40 years old.
    · Its name is "Alice Williams," after the mother of Rhode Island founder Roger Williams.
    · Smith himself is 49.
    · He eased into the harbor initially via the water behind the InterContinental.
    · He prefers "fellow citizen" rather than "homeless."
    · The Coast Guard says he's not doing anything illegal.
    · That's because Smith has stuck to floating and docking in recreational areas.
    · Smith thinks about publicly policy as he paddles.
    · In particular, he's sent a newsletter on public schools to Mayor Menino.
    We say kudos to Michael Richard Smith! Proving once again the uniqueness of our waterfront, which people pay good money to live on.
    · Man's Home a 14-Foot Canoe in Boston Harbor [Boston.com]

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