You know, I'll bet that what he's really saying by living in his canoe is that anyone who doesn't live exactly like he does must be a complete moron. Go ahead and look at the picture above. You can just see the arrogance. He probably hates you. Yes, you.
Doesn't he realize that not everyone can just drop everything and move into a canoe? Some of you have families and careers for crying out loud! Lawns to mow, mortgages, car payments, chickens defrosting in the refrigerator, and half a season of X-Factor stacked up on the DVR. Who does this guy think he is pushing his lifestyle on the rest of us like so? Just look at that picture again – the imperious grasp on the oar, that holier-than-thou orange life preserver...
This guy is doing nothing to support the economy. Thank goodness more people don't live in canoes. What we need more than ever is for people to get out and do the patriotic thing – spend money they don't have, consume things they don't need, and basically party like it's 1999.
I bet he's a Communist. Maybe even a terrorist.
Where does he go to the bathroom anyway? And what about showering? And how can he ever hope to meet a woman and start a family someday? "Hey baby, wanna go back to my canoe?" Yeah, that'll work.
What a pathetic loser. What a pompous prick. It's too bad he doesn't have a blog – then we could all really give him a piece of our mind.
(if you're confused...this is satire)